My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
