i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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