Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
