My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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