I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
