Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
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After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
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Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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