Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
