Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
