i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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