C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
