whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
