tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
