If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
