how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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