I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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