wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
