I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
