I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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