So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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