Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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