Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize