There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
