It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
