guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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