1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
