I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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