Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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