we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
