Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing

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(571): View more from Virginia

you're bored at work aren't you?

(703): View more from Virginia

I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk

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(248): View more from Michigan

Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?

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(973): View more from New Jersey

he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.

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(443): View more from Maryland

I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns

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(515): View more from Iowa

Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.

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