Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
