I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
