I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
