We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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