I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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