Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
