Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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