She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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