When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
