question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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