Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
The dick lei will go down in squad history
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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