Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
