Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
