as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
