bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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