youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We have started to decorate penises.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
