Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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