I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
