I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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