I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
So much rum. So many feels.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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