I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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