Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
