Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
