Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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