xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
If I die, sorry about rent.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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