We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
