Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
