dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize