When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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