woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
