I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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