having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Less talking, more tequila
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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