u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
