1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Everclear isn't food dammit
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
